For some time now I have been able to hear in my mind the sound of Michele’s voice by replaying one of two contexts where we said the same things over and over. Recently I discovered a third context that lets me imagine her voice once again. I treasure these contexts and I use them daily, so I can hear in my mind her voice and so I don’t lose the connection to the context itself.<\/p>\n
So much of our memories are triggered by state, so losing the state of being with Michele has caused a veil to be drawn up over my memories of her and our time together. It pains me to feel her slipping away in this manner. Try as I might, there are times when I can’t see her face, or imagine her touch, or hear her voice. The fear of losing this part of her adds to my inability to breakthrough to the memories. I have to calm myself and then I can reach the peaceful place inside of me where she lives now.<\/p>\n
I fear that as the years start to roll by I will gradually lose this final connection with her, until all that I am left with are fading images in my mind’s eye, along with a handful of digital pictures. I am determined to keep as much of her memory alive in my mind as I can by exercising the contexts that let me her her voice, feel her touch, and see her beautiful face once again.<\/p>\n
I miss her so very much, the pain of her loss is still as sharp as the first day. My throat swells shut and the tears steam down my cheeks when I think about all the days I’ll have without her. It has been 129 days since she died. It feels like 129 years.<\/p>\n
I lov eyou Michele
\nI miss you with every breath I take
\nMy heart still aches for your gentle love to hold it once again<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
For some time now I have been able to hear in my mind the sound of Michele’s voice by replaying one of two contexts where we said the same things over and over. Recently I discovered a third context that lets me imagine her voice once again. I treasure these contexts and I use them […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/andifyoudidknow.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/andifyoudidknow.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/andifyoudidknow.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andifyoudidknow.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andifyoudidknow.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=79"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/andifyoudidknow.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/andifyoudidknow.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=79"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andifyoudidknow.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=79"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andifyoudidknow.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=79"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}