I have not written for a few days, mostly because I had put what I had written on this blog on the Internet. When I did that I saw all the grammatical and spelling mistakes. I realized that if I am going to write it needs to be for me. I have been caught in that trap of seeking external validation.<\/p>\n
I want this to be for me. I know that I will get much more out of writing if I do it for me. I know I exercised for years thinking it would transform me into the right kind of person. What I found after 10 years was that I am who I am.<\/p>\n
I am here for a reason and that reason is to be me.<\/p>\n
Not the story for publication or the one everyone else thinks I should be, but who I am. That is the hardest part of being human; to just be yourself. It changes all the time and yet it is amazingly the same. I am just me.<\/p>\n
I just read a beautiful e-mail from my Sweetie. I know how lucky I am to have found someone that loves me without conditions or demands. Mark gives me a place to find the truth of me. He accepts me completely. In this atmosphere I can take the time to truly discover me. That is the true purpose of being here and yet it often becomes lost in the struggle of life.<\/p>\n
I want to know more about me. I want to understand me more. I want to accept me more. I want to hear me more.<\/p>\n
That is an important piece of this. To hear me more. I have talked to others often hoping to learn more about me and yet that does not really work. To hear me I need to talk to me. That is the reason for writing. It is me talking to me. It need be nothing else.<\/p>\n
I know that recently I have been talking to Mark about wanting to share this information with others, but it is more important that I do it for me. I am a solitary person. I need quiet and peace. I do best when others are not around me. I like my own company best. I like people, but I need a lot of alone time so as not to get to far away from me. I get caught up in the stuff others easily.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I have not written for a few days, mostly because I had put what I had written on this blog on the Internet. When I did that I saw all the grammatical and spelling mistakes. I realized that if I am going to write it needs to be for me. I have been caught in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/andifyoudidknow.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/andifyoudidknow.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/andifyoudidknow.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andifyoudidknow.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andifyoudidknow.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/andifyoudidknow.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/andifyoudidknow.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andifyoudidknow.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andifyoudidknow.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}