And If You Did Know?

Dear Michele,

I am discovering that while all days are hard, those that had special significance to us are especially tough. It’s not really surprising, but they are difficult just the same. Big holidays are bad, but my approaching birthday is even harder. You always made me feel so special and important on “my” day each year. Already I am missing the anticipation of whatever special thing you would have or do for me. I am determined, however, to do something for me in honor of my day. To let it quietly slip past would be too much like the introverted and isolated Mark you met all those years ago. I am afraid at times of reverting to that Mark, and so I take pains to not regress.

My thinking is to invite K & K to join me at Peachtree for dinner. I haven’t been since the last time we went (remember the live jazz?) and I want to go. Going without you is just to hard, but I like both Ks, and I know you did too. It seems fitting somehow. I am planning on going to the arboretum this weekend. I imagine the flowers will all be in bloom, and I think I’ll feel connected to you as a result.

I know you can’t give me a present this year, so I am giving myself one for you. I am resolving to live and have a life rather than to whither away and pine alone. I know you don’t want me to just mope and become reclusive, and I suspect you’d find a way to come back and kick my butt if I did. So your present to me this year is dinner out at Peachtreee, and an afternoon in the flowers and flowering trees of the arboretum.

I lov eyou Tinkerbell
pooh