On This Day
Dear Michele,
On this day (the tenth) in October you took your own life, ending one part of your journey, and setting us apart on this physical plane of existence. I won’t deny that it has been hard for me to get through the minutes, hours, and days, for it has been very hard in some ways. I miss being able to talk to you. I miss the healing power of your touch on my body. I feel lonely and isolated much of the time.
Lately I’ve been struggling with how to move forward into the next stage of my life. I don’t believe that I am ready for a new relationship yet. Every time I start to imagine what it would be like I either feel like I am betraying you or I start to list all the things that made you special and think it’ll never work since no one else can be you. Still I do think about it and wonder. For so long I had a clear idea of what the rest of my life was going to be, at least the broad strokes. Now I have a blank canvas and a bunch of gloomy colors.
I can’t remember if I told you previously or not that I have an idea about what to do with your ashes. I’m going to spread them at some of your favorite places: Big Sur, Multnomah Falls, Garden of the Gods, and your special rock. It pleases me to think that a part of you will always be at the places you loved the most.
I miss you so much
I lov eyou always
Pooh