And If You Did Know?

In Memory of Sharon Michele McAvoy Nichols .:. December 24, 1949 – October 10, 2005

June 10, 2006

On This Day

Filed under: goodbye — mark @ 10:42 pm

Dear Michele,

On this day (the tenth) in October you took your own life, ending one part of your journey, and setting us apart on this physical plane of existence. I won’t deny that it has been hard for me to get through the minutes, hours, and days, for it has been very hard in some ways. I miss being able to talk to you. I miss the healing power of your touch on my body. I feel lonely and isolated much of the time.

Lately I’ve been struggling with how to move forward into the next stage of my life. I don’t believe that I am ready for a new relationship yet. Every time I start to imagine what it would be like I either feel like I am betraying you or I start to list all the things that made you special and think it’ll never work since no one else can be you. Still I do think about it and wonder. For so long I had a clear idea of what the rest of my life was going to be, at least the broad strokes. Now I have a blank canvas and a bunch of gloomy colors.

I can’t remember if I told you previously or not that I have an idea about what to do with your ashes. I’m going to spread them at some of your favorite places: Big Sur, Multnomah Falls, Garden of the Gods, and your special rock. It pleases me to think that a part of you will always be at the places you loved the most.

I miss you so much
I lov eyou always

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